Incarceration. We see it on television. We read it in the news. We hear about someone in passing, but no one ever expects it to apply to them. I suppose that’s something of an overstatement. I’m sure there are those who’s financial and sociological upbringing could inevitably lead to nothing else. But for those of us who were admittedly born and raised privileged, we don’t see this coming. If any of you have read my posts, you know that I have been married before. The marriage in and of itself was abusive and very surface. As a young woman, I was raised to get married in order to “find my place in the world.” Sure, there was emphasis on education and ambition, but my mother never truly looked at me as an adult until I told her I was married. Even though my ex husband and I had gotten married at the justice of the peace, it didn’t matter. What mattered to her was that I was now “taken care of.”
It took seven years to end that horrific marriage, after which I found myself in my early thirties and starting over again, this time with a criminal record. Yes, you heard me right. Due to poor financial planning on my ex’s part, I found myself with a theft by check charge that landed me in jail for 4 days and is still following me around years later. After years of abuse and neglect, I found myself no longer attracted to men. I’ve always been bisexual, so I suppose psychologically speaking, I was willing to give women a try full time to see if maybe just maybe they wouldn’t break my heart. This was, of course, false, but that is neither here nor there. I happily lived as a lesbian for two years. This is not to say that I did not receive advances from men, surely I did. Still, my answer was “not interested” every time on the grounds that I was gay.
My ex husband had allowed my car to repossessed. So the very first job I could find within walking distance that would take a girl with an active warrant was waiting tables. So that’s what I did. To be honest, I never thought that I would ever wait tables. Food service was the one thing I never wanted to do. Retail was fine, but waiting tables? No thank you. But I figured that the cash daily would be necessary for my survival, so I did so. Turns out, I was pretty good at it. I made a few friends, busted ass, worked as many doubles as I could and found myself in a pretty awesome position. Surprisingly, I was able to make the same amount of money waiting tables as I had in an office job in years past. But I was lonely. I spent most of my time at home, in my little rented room, cuddled up with my dog and watching Netflix. I was working 60 plus hours on my feet soI was tired and sore all of the time. But one day, I decided to vent
ure out and start doing the things that I loved again.
There’s a local karaoke bar that I used to love to go to years ago. I was surprised when I got a large enough group of people who were interested in it too, so I got together a little group to go on a weekly basis. It was great. I loved having our little karaoke table, and getting up to sing was very therapeutic. That’s when I met him. It was the 27th of July. He was obviously a regular there, but I had never seen him before. He was singing, honestly I can’t
remember what he was singing. It was his birthday and he was amazing, so everyone was cheering for him. The song itself didn’t matter. What mattered was that not only was he good, but he was beloved. His smile, his charisma, they were beyond compare. He was awesome, but then again, so was I. I remember the meeting part exactly. I would later find out that he had asked a bartender there if she knew me.
“I’ve seen her here before, but I don’t really know her,” she said.
“Well, I’m about to get to know her,” he replied with a smile.
I had walked up to the bar, as I often did. I was wiggling my booty to whatever song was playing at the time, when that young man called me over to his table.
“Sorry to bother you,” he had grabbed my arm and pulled me down towards him where I could hear him better ,”I just wanted you to know that you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and your voice is amazing. I don’t expect anything from this, but I couldn’t let another moment go by without telling you this.”
It had been a while since I had received a truly genuine advance such as this. I’d heard the ever so popular “you have nice eyes” or “your lips are awesome” or “wow, that ass though.” But this…this was genuine. I thanked him and moved back towards my table where somehow he found his way over. He asked me to tell me about myself.
“There’s not much to know,” I said, “I’m a waitress, a divorce, and I have the most adorable dog in the world,” I smiled.
“I love dogs! What kind do you have?”
“A pitbull. She’s so sweet and—” I was expecting some judgement of pit bulls not long after.
“A pitta!!! I have a pittie too. Want to see?”
So there we were, in the middle of a bar showing pictures of our dogs.
My ex girlfriend was there that night and I was actually thinking about getting together with her at the time. I hadn’t expected her to, but she got up to sing.
“Oh wow, that’s my ex up there, Angela. She’s not bad, is she?”
“Yeah, she’s great. Honestly, I think anyone with enough guts to get up there is just awesome. Wait, she’s your ex? Are you……”
And for the first time in two years, instead of saying gay, I answered with “Well, I’m bisexual.”
“Cool,” he smiled.
Having dated women exclusively for two years, I paused and waited for the “Well, I’m a lesbian myself.” or the “I would love to watch.” But it didn’t come. He just left it at that.
When I left the bar, Angela walked me to my car. We were flirting and smiling and, she asked me to call her later that night so we could talk and reconnect. I was feeling good as I sat in my car, about to leave when out he came walking towards me. He must have been leaving and was shocked to see me there. So I got out to talk to him. He was..
..very…drunk. I, myself, don’t drink much so this was somewhat off-putting to me. But we talked more. He tried to kiss me, I pulled away. He tried to get my number, I gave him my facebook info. He told me I was beautiful. I told him to call me when he was sober. Then he asked me to meet him there the next evening. I told him I would think about it.
I walked away for a moment thinking I had been hit on by just another drunk guy. But still, there was a reason why I had told him I was bisexual. There had to be. So I met him the next day. He bought me a drink and we talked more. We sang. I got him to sing Disney with me. And afterwards, we spent hours just…talking.
It was five days later when I went to the same place for my birthday and I invited him
along. I figured I had been there for his birthday so why not invite him too. I’ll never forget that night. He remembered my drink from the week before. He bought everyone shots. He sat down and talked to my best friend. I mean, really talked to her. He asked her what song he should sing in honor of my birthday. And that was it. He was standing at the computer putting in a song when I grabbed him and kissed him for the first time. He was so young, but I didn’t care.
And that was the beginning of the love of my life.
His Legal Issues
It’s been nearly two years now. We own a home, a dog and two kitties together. We’ve financed two vehicles together. We are engaged. He’s nearly off of probation from a stupid mistake that he made in his early twenties. He’s smoking weed for pain management only but in the state of Texas, it isn’t real. He manages to pass his urinalysis successfully for nearly four years. He finds out he’s eligible for early release and then it happened. He’s driving home from work when he swerves to miss a possum crossing the road. Instead of swerving right into an empty lane, he swerves into a middle divide thereby blowing out two tires and damaging both wheels and axels. He calls the number on the back of his drivers license for assistance, they tell him they can only help if he is on the freeway. So they call the cops. When the police show up, they smell marijuana in the vehicle and have probable cause to search him at which point he is brought into custody. Three days later, I bond him out and that’s when it happens.
He got a call from his Denton probation officer telling him he’s eligible for early release on 04/12. She tells him that his balance is $100, if he pays that out, he will be released by that date. So he pays them. Later that day, he calls his Arlington probation officer to get ahead of the fact that he has been taken in. He has to let her know of any violations. She sighs and tells him she will write a letter of recommendation to the judge saying that he has been a model citizen. Denton tells us that they will be issuing a warrant for his arrest and he will have to turn himself in. So we call the lawyers. Lawyers tell us they are working on getting a bond set for him so he can do a walk through when he turns himself in. In the meantime, we live our lives like normal. We get married. We get our finances in order as best we can. We try to make the most of our time together.
He reports for his monthly probation visit like he’d done dozens of times before. I’m napping when I receive a call from him “They’re taking me in, baby,” he says.
“He’s got a warrant in Denton, ma’am. He’s going to be taken to Tarrant County where he will have to wait fro Denton to come get him so he can face a judge on these charges,” a police officer tells me in the background.
“Can you come get my things, baby?”
“Yeah, sure…where are you again?”
I drive as fast as I can to get his things and I get to see him momentarily as they put him in the vehicle. I later found out that he called out to me that he loved me, but I didn’t hear it.
So here is where we are today. He’s now been taken into custody. He spent 8 days in Tarrant County and has now been brought to Denton where there is no bond set even after arraignment. That means we will have to wait for him to go to court to get him out, if we can at all. Here are the possibilities.
- The judge could realize that he’s been a model citizen and with his good behavior, just let him go with time served.
- The judge could give him 30 days for probation violation but when he gets out, he will be off of probation.
- The judge could decide to extend his probation.
- The judge could decide to make him serve the entire length of his originally sentenced probation in jail. (4 years)
- The judge could make him serve his entire sentence in jail and add on time for the possession.
A Plea For Help
So here I am, a lone waitress with two car notes, half the income, and legal fees pending. The lawyers are wanting $2500 to represent him in Denton. I simply don’t have that. If for some reason, I’m able to acquire it, I won’t be able to pay the bills. Car payments, property taxes, light bills, all due.
I never ask for money, but I’m asking now. I just can’t pay his legal fees and also hold the fort down while he’s away. To know Mike is to love him, I’m hoping there are enough people around who can help get him the defense he needs. I’m including a link to his gofundme account below. I know you don’t know me, but in the off chance you’re willing and able to help, I thank you in advance. Anything would help. Anything at all.